He has changed from a person that I love to a person who is a stranger. Sometimes, the seem to peak and fall, always lurking in the background about to explode. How can you rebuild trust when your spouse has lied to you? The point is, you can live with a husband who always lies, or with a wife who always lies; but the quality of your life will not be as healthy as when you are with someone who is honest. The problem is so complicated. It would seem he would for a short period of time but after a few months I would find out that even when it seemed he was doing right by me he immediately went back to doing what he was before. .
As I look back I realize that he has and may have been lying to me longer than I can imagine. Encourage the person to seek outside help before he or she loses everyone's trust. I cannot believe I was so gullible for 20 years. I am so thanksful for coming across this website. If I needed to replace something I looked at second hand stores and ads. My first instinct is he pawned it.
Do some research so you have evidence that the person was lying, rather than just going on a hunch you have. I handle all the finances, because he has never been responsible with the checkbook. It is important that you both agree that those funds are yours individually to do with what you want. I filled for divorce again and the lies continue. I keep catching him in his lies and keep forgiving him. It took many many years to get him to even communicate at all…and it only happened because I was ready to leave, stay seperated and just never divorce.
Then, once again, he promised that there was nothing else. When you stay married to a lying spouse you are accepting an inferior marriage, which might not seem to be a big deal given most people in marriages are settling in one way or another for a less than ideal situation. The offending spouse may also need to temporarily give up control of household accounts until good behavior has again been established. When your husband is out with his friends he will not try to avoid your calls unless he is doing something wrong. I doubted much of what they said. In this case, it may be time to reach out for guidance from a mental health professional. He blames his behavior on the fact that he was bullied as a child and made fun of.
There is no easy answer especially if he is a nice guy otherwise. I am 33 and have known my husband since I was 15. He convinced me I could change. I am having a difficult time trying to build trust in our marriage because of my feelings about him lying to me. Even in counseling he is lying. He took the civil servic exam and had the opportunity to take a job with the post office or the police department. I have been married for 26 years to a man who chronically lies and then lies to himself about being a liar.
He must not have the benefits of marriage without the responsibilities. Waits till the last minute to file, and sometimes I dint think he has. I am not sure how I would feel if there was a chance of having a relationship with a real Christian man. My marriage had the chronic lying, in addition to physical abuse, and alcohol, pill, and gambling addictions. I do trust him as far as infidelity goes. If you do decide to stay married, then it is important that you reach the point where you forgive the person and it becomes a non-issue in your relationship. This denies them being accountable for their own actions, and placing the responsibility for the lies on the person being lied to? We have been married for almost 16 years, and have one child.
When my friends lied, our trust died. Here is what you need to do if you find out your spouse has been lying to you about the finances. He has no concept of how this affects me emotionally. Am I handling this right for the kids? The last straw was when he lied about talking to his ex. If your spouse is in an uncomfortable situation, or one he feels guilty about, he may have over-thought how he will get out of it. Betty Alice, you illustrate the dangers of meeting someone long distance and assuming you know him well. I confronted him at his house and he was so distraught telling me things would be different.
Of course we want to please God. Actually I know that I should have never gotten in. People like him are narcissistic and do not have the ability to love anyone but themselves. My husband has lied to me from day one. Do I let go before we have kids and drag them into this kind of life? Ask the father for revelation on all things such as how to deal with a particular situation, to reveal all your husbands lies. When I have the nerve to ask if we owe anything, he always says not to worry about it. Emma, thank you so much for your reply.