But when I do something physical I take my mind off from these thoughts. I carry on because I feel I have to, I feel I will be letting everbody down if I implode, Its such hard work and I just cry all the time. I feel life is passing me by and look back in regret. Drugs in a class generally have a similar sounding suffix or prefix. I think my wife acts in exactly the same way. My brother became the man she believed he would, and I became the loser she thought I was.
Depressed people often lose interest in activities they formerly found pleasant, feel hopeless and sad, and suffer from low self-esteem. My biggest hurdle is me, and that is the saddest part of it all. And it works like magic! Why should I keep going? At work I was a therapist myself, and now a teacher, so I focus outwards, on my patients and students, I am there for them and I think do a good job, I turn my self criticality into reflexiveness and motivation to always do better, and cannot conceive of letting myself take time sick off due to being depressed. If depression is the only reason you don't want to keep it, keep it. Something is going on with my body i think hormonally, and much of the time I feel like Ive lost a good chunk of that zeal for life and people. I understand what everyone is going through but I feel like I have no one to talk to. My life has been a challenging marathon, I cannot find even one time in my entire life where I have experienced joy or happiness.
You just described my entire life. I am beginning to feel useless now that they are all grown. Have you ever been depressed and kept on walking? This is Part 1 in a series on depression in creatives. Will it be something fast, or something slow? I just want to lay there on the couch and be left alone. I guarantee that you will find it to be provocative and true. I am totally exhausted because I have to do everything around the house, be emotionally and mentally available all the time. Depression can be caused by both environmental and genetic factors and by the way a person has learned to deal with stress.
Mum and dad would fight like crazy but we was well taken care of. I do creative things, but I would never consider myself an artist. I am tired, tired, tired. On and off, these feelings come back. When I get tired, the words others have used to define me often come out of my own mouth. Ocurred to me now a funny metaphor. I somehow was able to cope very well and had success in business and then, one day… it all ended! Could explain why you are adamant about not getting help? Since I can remember I have been this way but my mom never believed in mental illness and I think I have absorbed that quality.
You feel like it would be insulting to those who are much worse off than you. I cry for no reason all the time. Three years of psycho dynamic psycho therapy and nero feedback actually made it all worse and so much clearer. Almost all the boys in my class and bus like me. Try to think back on a moment you felt ok.
I fight or try my best to hide it while at work. Like the warning on a mirror: Objects may appear larger than life. Only now i have realised how bad i have messed up my life and now my past seems to just haunt me and it will never go away i have slowed down on the drinking and taking drugs now but my depression is severe I just want to sleep all day I have so many issues and problems that no one know about and I have seemed to lost all my friends now. Thank you all for sharing your comments. Next, look in the Yellow Pages of the phone book to see if your community has a mental health center. Is there a therapist or counsellor you can talk to at school or elsewhere? I realized that everything was going to be ok after breaking down in sobs in front of my therapist, at least I was feeling something! My anxiety level goes up, my heart races and I have a feeling of being totally unwell. I need a creative coach.
Before all this I was a go go go person, I had goals, dreams, plans for those goals. I suffer pain from my disc disease and it makes me think or fantasize abt suicide although I would never do it. Im 20 years old I support myself and my mum I have been stripping for 3 years now and other things too just to provide for me and her no one else helps me. I hope you are seeing a psychiatrist who can help with medications that specifically address your specific issues. Be willing to admit them to yourself and to your kids, and your kids will in turn, be honest with you, and trust and respect you.
I went through a honeymoon phase where I felt great. I didn't even realized I was depressed. And I'm so glad I did take you up on your offer. I want to be left alone. Do not fall for the scam of paid college. It can be deceiving as well. But after university, I got sidetracked by all the demands of ordinary life.